One Strange Afternoon

In themselves, Thursdays were typically rather dull.  I only had two classes to teach and Thursday followed Wednesday, which had no classes and offered plenty of time for me to get work done.  However, this Thursday unfolded into a strange series of events that left me dumbfounded, yet altogether pleased with my part in them.

Having finished our lesson early, I decided to do some word exchange with my 8^a 3 class.  We selected a few Portuguese words and I told them the English equivalent, they told me the Changana equivalent.  For the last 5 minutes of class, the 10 students who stayed for the last period (out of a roster of 40) and I laughed as the other tried to pronounce words like grill (they have a lot of trouble with this word) and chloko (head).  An extra bounce in my step, I left the classroom and headed home when the Pedagogical Director waved me over to the window of another classroom.

Being the end of the day, hardly anyone remained at the school, and yet a small group of students gathered inside the classroom around a girl who was lying on the ground, unconscious.  Apparently this girl had a history of fits and on this day had one before passing out.  Immediately, my brain went through my very limited knowledge of medical conditions that could explain fits and passing out: seizures, dehydration and lack of food in the day’s extreme heat all came to the front of my mind.  All wrong.  The PD informed me the girl was inflicted by mau espiritos (bad spirits).

I laughed at first, but she was serious.  Spirits aren’t a major part of everyday life, but they are a part of Mozambican culture, and for some people, can stand as a valid reason for strange phenomenon: such as a girl having a fit and collapsing during class.  At the Escola Secundaria de Mabalane, students talk about Jossefa, a girl who died and whose spirit still haunts the school.  The students’ belief is Jossefa causes strange events such as this.  So, to heal this girl and combat the spirit, the small group of students and my PD called the curandeiro, a traditional medicine and spiritual healer in the community.  I personally have had no dealings with the cuandeiro, but from what I have heard, there is at least on in every community and this person is both respected and feared by everyone.

My PD told me this person was on the way, but that it could be a while.  As I planned to meet Charlie in town for a free meal, I decided to leave the situation to bathe and head into town.  On the way back to my house, my neighbors were playing a game of keep-away soccer, so I stopped to join.

Now, I should remind you, it’s late February at this time, which means that it’s summer in a tropical African country and I’m playing soccer in slacks, dress shoes, a button down shirt and a lab coat.  Needless to say, before long a healthy sweat covered my face and arms.  After ten minutes, I left the game and continued to my house.  As I entered the back door, I heard the sound of rustling plastic on the table to my left.  I turned my head and quickly saw the plastic bag that made the sound, but what caused the-

There!  Its head and body moved up the grate covering our window.  After backing away a few more feet, I watched as the biggest snake I had ever seen outside of a display slithered up our window grate.  The body was skinny, green and a meter long.  After the initial shock of encountering a snake in my kitchen passed, I tried to think of a way to get it out of my house, and quickly realized I had no experience with such things.  I could kill it fairly easily, but that didn’t seem fair.  This dumbass snake just happened to come into an inhabited house, was now cornered and likely scared.  I decided to ask my neighbors what to do and stepped back onto the back stoop.

The crew of four who had been playing soccer were now resting.  This is how I remember the conversation going:

-          Me (calmly): Hey!  There’s a snake in my house.

-          Them: Yeah, ok teacher.  Sure there’s a snake.

-          Me (seriously): It’s this big!

-          Them: Oh, shit!

Something I had never seen before and seriously underestimated was the Mozambican’s reaction to snakes.  The words grave and severe come to mind, and yet don’t seem to quite capture their response.  These teenagers arranged for battle when they realized I was serious.  Sticks, bricks and garden hoes in hand, we went through the front door.  The snake still hung in the grate and they boys let out sounds of excitement and disbelief when they saw it.

I won’t go into the details, but after much throwing, rustling, smashing, and shouting, the snake lay crushed and beheaded.  They quickly removed the body from the house to a pile of brush and burned it.  The burning of snakes is another cultural act done to ensure the snake is dead and prevent its spouse or owner from tracking the scent to you and killing you.

In the aftermath of the battle, I abandoned the bath to hit the road into town and give myself some time to process what just happened.

The heat and sweat persisted throughout the walk and I quickly began to regret not taking a bath.  However around halfway into town, the doctor of Mabalane pulled up and asked if I wanted a ride.  I hopped in and was blasted by a wave of cold air.  Of course the doctor had an air conditioned car.  I, however, had not felt air conditioning in over two months and was in a near vegetative state from the euphoria my sweaty body suddenly sensed.

In town, the doctor dropped my off at his turn and I stepped back into the heat, though now the sweating had stopped and I felt a little better.  I made the short walk to the restaurant, grabbed a cold Fanta, sat down and told Charlie about the strange whirlwind I had just passed through.